I’ve been reflecting a lot on how differently we all process stress, overwhelm, and emotional tension.
So much of the advice we see online tends to be very generalised.
🌬️Take a few deep breaths.
🧘🏼Calm yourself down.
🌸Practice mindfulness.
And while those things absolutely can help, I think many of us have also experienced moments where we try them… and still feel tense, emotional, restless, or overwhelmed underneath it all.
Because sometimes calming the surface isn’t the same as actually processing what’s happening within us.
The more I learn about myself, the more I realise that healing and regulation aren’t one-size-fits-all. For me personally, trying to sit still and breathe when I’m highly activated often makes me feel even more on edge. My body needs movement first. I need to move the emotional energy before I can settle it.
That might look like walking, dancing, exercising, cleaning furiously, or even storming out of a room for a moment just to let my nervous system discharge some of what it’s holding.
Only after that movement can I usually come back to breathing, reflection, grounding, or calm.
For someone else, they may need to talk things through first.
Others may need grounding and nature.
Others need permission to fully feel the emotion before they can release it.
And I think this matters a lot.
Because when we keep trying to regulate ourselves in ways that don’t actually fit us, we can start believing we’re failing at healing.
When often… we may simply be using the wrong tool for our nervous system.
That’s actually one of the reasons I created the Stress Response Quiz:
“Why You Feel Overwhelmed — and How Your Body Actually Needs to Release It.”
Not to put people in boxes.
But to help create more self-awareness, self-compassion, and understanding around how we individually process stress and emotion.
Because the better we understand ourselves, the more gently and effectively we can support ourselves through change.